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How to educate the bully child to end his aggressive behavior

How to educate the bully child to end his aggressive behavior


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An issue that worries many parents when their children are young is that suddenly, one day, they let go of their hands and they hit adults and children when they are unhappy with something or angry. Does this mean that we have an aggressive child? The answer is no, or not necessarily. This is what we must do if we have a bully child to stop his aggressive behavior.

Children biting, hitting or pushing is a behavior that can be considered normal until a certain age, when children lack the capacity for self-control or they do not have the ability to verbalize what is happening to them or communicate properly. Between the ages of two and 5, it can be normal for a child to hit another or bite them when they want a toy or get angry with another. Especially the little ones, who if they cannot communicate verbally, they communicate "physically".

On the other hand, children at approximately these ages are egocentric, have little capacity for self-control, and little tolerance for frustration, so it can be relatively normal that when you have a problem you solve it with a push or hit or bite.

Nor can we forget the character of each child and their temperament, which will make the child more likely to have these types of behaviors. Children with more difficult temperaments, who find it difficult to tolerate frustration and adapt to rules, may be the ones who present the most problems of this type.

There are other factors that also influence such as the family environment, the child's communication problems, the lack of social skills or difficulties in the child's development.

That this is normal does not mean that we do not have to correct these behaviors when they appear. We must work on this from the moment we see that the first push appears, but without being alarmed, let us remember that these behaviors are normal when they are small.

It is important that if we want to correct this behavior, we parents do not do the same. Sometimes it happens that our child hits us or hits another child and the way to correct him is to shake his hand, and accompany him with a "that's not done." Totally contradictory message if what we want is not to hit. Therefore, the first golden rule when correcting is to set an example and not do what we tell you is wrong.

Second, stay calm and correct and tell him things calmly. If we are in the park and I see that my son snatches a toy from another child with a push, I must go and tell him that this is not done, I take the toy from him, I give it to the other child and I take my son for a For a little while outside the playing place, and I explain to him, with simple words and short messages, (nothing to explain the value of being good and kind, because he will not understand), that you have to ask for things but not take them away and that you do not we like what he's done. But without shouting, because again I give him a message contrary to what I want to teach. In addition, screaming creates tension and irritability in children.

It is important to teach them alternative behaviors to which we want to correct and reinforce them when they appear. This way it will be easier for behavior to change. That is to say we have to reinforce and praise every time our child does things properly, without hitting or pushing other children or ourselves.

Do not forget to make children set clear rules and guidelines at home and make children aware of the consequences of these behaviors. Apologize to the other child, spend time away from the place and the activity they were doing, or lose a privilege, such as not being able to play for a while with a toy or return home from the park earlier.

Therefore, it is normal for children to hit when they are young, but it is essential to correct and set an example. And as we always recommend, if we cannot control the situation or do not know how, the best thing to do is go to a professional who will study our case and guide and help us.

You can read more articles similar to How to educate the bully child to end his aggressive behavior, in the category of Conduct on site.


Video: Bullying and Aggression in ECE (December 2022).