Values

The promises we make to our children ... we must keep them!


How many promises have you made throughout your life? How many have you not kept? Probably most of it affects yourself. They are the promises of diet, to stop smoking, to study, to learn to play the guitar ... Many of them are left behind and the only person you miss is you. But, What about the promises we make to our children?

"Yes, this summer I will take you to Eurodisney", "If you behave well, we will go to the movies", "When I finish cleaning, I will sit down to play with you", "Of course I will go to your football game", are phrases that we throw into the air and then, on many occasions, back down ...

"Oops, there is no money to go to Eurodisney", "Cinema? If we have arranged to go to grandmother's house", "I am late, tomorrow we play", "At the end grandfather will go to the game, I have a lot of work ", is what many times our promises remain.

Promises are nothing other than those statements of doing or not doing something specific. It is also understood as the offer to give or do something for another person.

The reality, and we all know it, is that it is impossible to fulfill each and every one of the promises we make in life, either to ourselves, to others or to our children. Of course, the amount of them that we do not comply with and the answers we give to others is the key to the image we have.

When we fail to keep the promises we make to our children, we are downplaying their value and importance and not valuing their wishes or hopes. In reality, we have put something else above the commitment we make to them.

When we don't keep our promises, it happens that:

- The children think they can't count on us.

- Our word is not valid.

- Our children think that we cannot be trusted.

- We disappointed them.

- We lose credibility with our children.

- They feel frustrated.

- We cause them emotional damage, they will feel sad.

Not keeping the promises we make to our children damages the image that children have of us, which, in principle, is an idolized image. We are their role models, their heroes, the people they trust the most. Well, all that image that they form with qualities that sometimes they attribute to us and others we win, they fall like a house of cards when We systematically break our word with them.

Do not detract from words, words for children are everything. They don't expect us to deliberately lie or want to hurt them. Therefore, before "taking the child out of the way" with the first promise that comes to mind, think about it and reflect. And, when we really want to make a promise, we should assess these conditions:

- Is the promise realistic? Can I keep it? There is no point in promising game consoles, trips, birthday parties, or anything else we can't get to.

- Is it necessary to make that promise? Making promises is not mandatory, we should not commit ourselves because it is or because it seems like it is the right thing to do.

- What do I want to achieve with the promise? We must ask ourselves why we are making a commitment, if you are doing it for your child or are you doing it for yourself. If you do it because you want the child to stop asking for something or because you really want to reward him in some way. We must be honest and think about what each one gets out of the deal and if it pays off when making the promise.

Yes, our intention was good and we had promised our son to attend his Christmas function, we were more excited than they were and we had spent nights preparing the suit to make it look spectacular but, in the end, at the last minute, the boss gave us an important meeting and we can't go, what do we do?

The first thing, in my view, is to consider what kind of commitment you made and what priority it has. It is not the same to miss a long-awaited show, than not to buy her an ice cream because she picked up her room. Therefore, the important promises, we must try to keep them, fight to achieve a gap in the agenda so as not to disappoint our children. Is it possible to advance the meeting? Postpone it?

And, on the other hand, when it is unavoidable, we should talk to the child, notify him, apologize and try to compensate him in another way. Even if you feel sad at first, children are reasonable when we propose an interesting change of plans.

In any case, we must not underestimate children, the promises or commitments we break with them are as or more important than those we make with adults.

You can read more articles similar to The promises we make to our children ... we must keep them!, in the category of Being mothers and fathers on site.


Video: The Martins - The Promise Live (January 2022).