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The desired motherhood is wonderful. The joy that comes from knowing that you are going to be one of the family is hard to put into words. The days are filled with light and a special color. Unfortunately, there are times when that great desire to be a mother and to hug the baby is cut short, leaving desolation and grief in the hearts of the parents. In these lines we talk about star babies and what this loss means for parents.
If we define what star babies are in medical terms, we will say that they are babies who did not have an aerial life, that is, they only lived inside their mother for a few months. The pregnancy did not come to an end because the child ceases to have life. Of course, the term 'star baby' of technician has little, it is rather a poetic way of naming these little ones. It is actually called gestational-perinatal death and it is accompanied by the immense pain felt by their parents and all their loved ones. Today we want to talk about star babies and try to explain with words full of love what this means for the mother.
We therefore have to call the babies who are not born a 'star' is a beautiful and empathetic way of doing it, which comes to say that those babies, even if they did not see the light, they did have life inside their mothers and all that this entails: illusion, hope and the greatest love that exists since you know that you are going to be one of the family.
Unfortunately, at some point during the pregnancy the baby's life is interrupted and he takes with him part of the heart of his devastated parents who strive to keep his memory alive at all costs. Hence it is said that your child has become a star that will guide your way from heaven.
Let me share one thing with you. I have been friends with a mother since our children were babies and they played together in the park. Eventually, she told me that before having her first daughter, had to go through the bad trance of giving birth to her stillborn baby when she was still in her sixth month of pregnancy. Was a girl. She told me, through tears, that she didn't even want to take her in her arms, she simply said to take her away. It is not for less. After childbirth, the only thing that gives you comfort is to hug your baby and in her case it was not going to be like that. 'Now you are happy with your daughter.' It was the only thing I could say. Of course she was, but that did not stop her thinking about her first daughter, with whom she would never have the mother-daughter relationship that she so desired.
If you are reading these lines it is because you also have a star baby or because a loved one of yours has one. It is then that you ask yourself the following question, How does the mother and father of a star baby feel? Difficult to know, but if I pay attention to my friend's gestures and her words, even unspoken ones, she may be right to say that the mothers of the star babies feel anguished, hurt, not wanting to take a step further, alone and desolate, sad and submerged in a sea of tears, in short, they notice that they have lost control of their lives.
How to overcome such a loss? With time, with a lot of time, with the unconditional love of your loved ones and perhaps, just perhaps, speaking with other mothers who have gone through the same thing or even with a specialist who can give guidance and guidelines to follow.
When the mourning for the lost baby begins to recede is when you think of having a new baby. What if it goes wrong and is not born? Doubts are the first thing that comes to the mother's mind. However, the desire to have the baby can more. And that's when the good news arrives, the pregnancy goes according to plan and, after nine months, the rainbow baby arrives, the brother of the star baby who was not born alive.
The arrival of the newborn does not mean that the parents of the star baby stop feeling pain, but it does mean that it is something beautiful, full of life and light that comes to give joy in the middle of the dark. Without a doubt a new hope when everything was already believed lost. Feeling completely happy when you are in a duel that may last forever is almost impossible. But that does not mean that you should stop enjoying yourself, without any guilt, and loving with all your soul that new being who comes to this world to say to his parents, 'here I am, everything is going to be fine'.
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